|
| Name/Date | Message |
|
RITU ASHRAFI rituashrafi@hotmail.com 5/03/04 11:09 AM |
BANGLADESHI TEENAGERS Caught Between Two Worlds Most immigrants to Canada very quickly become familiar with words like multiculturalism, mainstream and integration. Probably not a single day goes by without someone, somewhere, usingthese words- from simple conversations, to speeches in political high places. And yet, in reality, for most immigrants to Canada it proves to be adifficult and often painful struggle for transition. Being a Bangladeshi-Canadian teenager, I am also aware of yet another aspect of this cross-cultural conflict, especially amongest my peers. It is like being caught between two different worlds, or even three-- being Bangladeshi, yet overwhelmed by Indian culture, and trying to integrate within the Canadian mosaic! I was born in Bangladesh and grew up there, and over there, the mainstream culture, or the model we wanted to follow was the Indian model. We want to live like they do (as seen in the movies). Dress like them, sing like them and dance like them! This mentality is often hard to shake off, and we carried it with us to Canada too. But there are probably a few simple reasons why this happens- why Bangladeshi Canadians often try to adapt to the Indian-Canadian culture and be close to that group (especially among teenagers and young men and women). The mostobvious fact is that our cultures are very similar. Parents in both the Indian culturre and Bangladeshi culture disapprove of dating before marriage, are generally conservative, and devout ( whatever their religion maybe, they are strict followers). There are alot of other common ground too, in terms of dress codes, social norms, arts and music, etc. It is easier for young people in these two cultures to relate to each other. They understand and empathize with early curfews and no sleepover policies. They can be there for each other in ways young people from other cultures can't because they simply don't understand or haven't experience. In this way, it is a somewhat harmonious relationship. The positive effects are seen in high schools across the GTA(Greater Toronto Area) and in many areas of Ontario, where the south Asian student community is tightly knit. The negative effects are that they are not mingling with kids from other cultures, and in the long run, this may be damaging to them. In future, as they enter newer workplaces, they might have a problem relating to others, or vice versa. Another important issue is that other communities don't seem to make an effort to bring us into their cultures just as much as we don't make an effort to get closer to them. This is very true in Toronto too. Home to many cultures, yet who prefer to stay within tight knit boundaries of own communities. Different communities inteact with in each other on minimal basis only. For example, how many of us have Italian friends, or Irish, or even from amongest the Japanese living in Toronto? Very little. We all use culture only as an excuseto put up protective walls around ourselves and keep each oyher out. This is totally contrary to the great idea of togetherness as acountry. As new Canadians, we need to change this. We have to be more open about cross-cultural integration. Our parents too need to be tolerant and encourage us in making friends in other cultures and communities. They should not be afraid to let their kids experience new things that are different from what they are familiar with. This way, we the young Bangladeshis, the next generation, will not want to reject our own culture, but also be enriched by others. This is the future that we should all look forward to. |
|
T. Shareef info@alochona.org 7/10/04 11:21 AM |
Reminiscing the Teen Age Years in Bangladesh I have been living in the USA for quite a long time now. I visit Bangladesh every once in a while; still it is not the same as living in Bangladesh there anymore. Every time I visit Bangladesh, things seem to have changed so much. Speaking with a colleague of mine one afternoon made me wonder, how was it when I was a teenager in Bangladesh? When I reminisce about my teenage years, what are the memories I fondly remember from those years of growing up in the city of Dhaka? There was "Pohela Boishak", the celebration of the Bengali New Year. Every year on April 14th everyone would wake up early to the tune of "Esho Hei Boishak, Esho Esho" and head out to the parks where there would be live concerts. You could see women dressed up in mustard colored saris with red borders and flowery ornaments in their long hair. Most of the men would be in traditional Panjabi-Paijama outfit. Everyone would be there until sunrise to watch numerous shows. There were many "Melas" or Carnivals going on too. Parade of colors everywhere. Can we forget the " Ekushe Boi Mela" or the 21st February Book fair! Every year the city of Dhaka would have the book fair. Lot’s of writer’s would introduce their novels. There was books enthusiast everywhere. There were also people just roaming around and hanging out and having tea. In the winter, Dhaka city had stings of Mina Bazaars every weekend. Those were the small fairs. I think most of the teenagers used to go there just to check out people and hang out rather then check out the shops! That was a fun hangout too I would have to say!! I wonder how different we would feel if we go to a "Mina Bazaar" now!! After all, teenagers always had the floor there! I should not forget mentioning the Eid-Ul-Fitr, and the Eid-Ul-Adha there. All the Eids I have celebrated in the USA were never the same as in Bangladesh. The excitement of getting to wear the new outfits; looking forward to the breakfast after the men of the house came back from saying their Eid prayer. In the afternoon, we would have a huge feast and then go out to visit people. I certainly think celebrating Eid when you are a teenager is more fun! November 5th was the Election Day over here in the USA. As a resident of the state of Massachusetts, my husband and I were closely watching the election result of the Governor race as they started pouring in. We were both fondly remembering the times when we were in Bangladesh and we would so eagerly wait for the Election Day. It wasn’t because we were supporting any parties, or were involved in politics. The sole purpose was to watch the endless shows on TV. Bangladesh Television would have twenty-four hours non-stop broadcast for those couple of days. At that time, Cable Television wasn’t so widely subscribed or used. So, those couple of days of endless shows certainly was something to cherish! I am sure our next generation will find the concept of once in a while twenty-four hour television very amusing! One of the must write memories I have from my teenage years is, waiting eagerly to see the "Krisnochura" bloom. Around the Shangshad Bhaban or the Parliament building, there were lines of "Krishnochura" trees on each side of the road. During the winter, they would start blooming. The whole area would be all in rage with red "Krishnochura" blooming in its full blossom. The colors were vibrant enough to make an impression on a person’s mind. I wonder whether those trees are still standing there. I can actually go on and on about the memories from my teenage years spent in Bangladesh. One thing I must say, whatever memories I can think of, all were festival of colors and high spirit. Bangladesh can be a poverty stricken country, but on the contrary the spirit the Bangladeshi people have to enjoy and celebrate life will never cease to amaze anyone. That is the legacy we will leave behind for our next generation, a legacy colorful enough to paint a picture in their mind that they hopefully will cherish and remember too. |
|
Justina Gomes info@alochona.org 7/10/04 11:24 AM |
Adapting to a New Culture Every human being undergoes a process of development during the years of growing up. We try to develop an identity that is distinct and different from our parents or relatives but at the same time very similar. This identity development is an on going process which we forever revisit as it suits the social structure around us. If developing an identity was not already hard enough by itself, when a person relocates to a different country like USA the process becomes invariably much harder. The culture, which has formed the basis of ones childhood all of a sudden, disappears and in its place is taken over by a whole new culture. One of the main problems most young and old immigrant goes through is the language problem. Even though back home we learned English in schools, it not easy to express ourselves completely in a language, which is so different from our own mother tongue. The struggle to understand everyone around us and to be understood by them makes one feel quite alienated easily transforming one into a mute. On the first day of school even though I understood when others were speaking, it was very hard for me to come out and actually say a word. For a long time I avoided public speaking as much as I possibly could. When I spoke I always worried about proper sentence structures, and all the rules of thumbs as far as grammar was concerned. Not everyone's first experience is the same. There are ways a newcomer can overcome the language obstacle. Family members or relatives who came earlier instead of speaking in the native language can speak with the newcomers in English to practice. One can become friends with people from different countries where English is the common language. Most of all learn as much possible about English in ESL (English for student as second language) classes and try to be patient throughout the process. One thing helped me and my friends were watching easy to follow television shows. With language barriers to overcome every émigré goes through a period call-acculturation. To some extent, it's important for every immigrant to acculturate. Everywhere in the world American life has been idealized. Some time thinking this new culture is idyllic culture, and trying to avoid being taunted by people in everyday life, a person may attempt to disown his/her own culture. For example, one may wear all westernized clothing, change names, and listen to music one does not understand and relate to or even act ignorant toward another person from the same culture. For the time being it might look as one may have adjusted to this culture however, deep inside one is not being true to oneself. An immigrant must find a balance between one's home culture and the new found culture. It is important to remember every culture has both good and bad qualities. Immigrants have the good opportunity to actively adapt the good elements of each culture and think about which ones to modify and which ones to reject. When one thinks about modifying or rejecting cultural elements, the gender role within the culture gets much attention. The Bengali culture has a fine line between male and female gender roles in the community. Most of the time the family members encourage the male to be more Americanized than the female. Females are always expected to uphold traditional roles and qualities. However, for most women, when at home is one set of gender roles and outside is another, a female can easily feel to be pulled in two different directions at the same time. A woman must find a way to become American at the same time not lose their heritage. A way for a woman to deal with it is to talk to the family members. Discuss the topic openly and honestly of what's going on around her and how she feels about her two assume gender roles. Instead of struggling with the problem all alone and arguing with family members try to voice the opinions. This way each family member understands the other person's chain of thought. It is important to become an individual and develop a strong identity for oneself. In order to make the transition from one culture to another as smoothly as possible one can ask help from family and friends. Make an effort to become involved in a community program where other immigrated people come and share their experiences. This way an immigrated person manages to balance the influences of old and new cultures to create a healthy bicultural identity. Moreover, an immigrated person should place more value maintaining close relationships and ties with family members, choose not to struggle for separation from the family but for a new and more adult role and voice ones opinion. |
|
Arif HAQ info@alochona.org 7/10/04 11:27 AM |
Problems Among Bangladeshi Youth Since childhood I have always dreamt of living and studying abroad. One of the main reasons behind this dream was to be free from the dreadful discipline under my parents. Now that my dreams have finally come true, life is not as easy as I had thought it to be in a strange and foreign country. I have spent the most part of my childhood outside of Bangladesh in Malaysia. Growing up in a foreign country certainly influenced my thinking and me. The first thing I had to come to terms with was the fact that I was a foreigner in whichever country I lived in outside Bangladesh. It's something I didn't really understand when I first came to the country. But, I came to the realization when I started interacting with the natives of that country. Take an example of a blue eyed, blond haired man walking down the streets of Dhaka. People will surely stare at him because he will stand out. That's exactly what happened when I first came to study in the US. I think I was the only one of Asian origin in my class. People definitely did not treat me like one of their own and it takes time to adjust to this. It certainly was hard to makes friends. I was always wary and wondering about their ideas and thoughts regarding me. I did not meet any Bangladeshi's, besides my relatives, within the first few months of staying in US. It was pretty frustrating and all I wished was to return and continue studying with my high school buddies. My case was certainly a little harsher then usual as I first came into a 2 year college instead of a 4 year college. But I did make friends with a lot of other international students, such as myself, but not with Americans. Living in a foreign country all by myself certainly gave me the creeps. Lucky for me I had my brother pick me up from the airport and help me out with my living. I can easily imagine the situations of some Bengali students who don't have any relatives close to where they plan to stay. Most students coming from Bangladesh most often get homesick no matter how much they hated home. Personally, I hated my house a lot, but that certainly changed when I came to the states. All the advice and lectures that my parents gave me were lingering in my head and I realized that it was all for the best. Freedom is definitely something that you get living away from home, and more so when you are in a different country away from your family. But I also asked myself, why did my father send me here? Who paid for my plane tickets? Who was paying for my education here? The answer to every single one of them was my parents and it was without any doubt that they were doing it because they wanted the best for me. I kept these in mind no matter what I did. If I were to go out and do groceries, I would tell myself "lets try and cut down on the unnecessary and get the essentials." I felt this was very important as if we don't think of such things we will definitely be over spending which results in debt. Debt is something that haunts people until the time they have gotten over it. I kept in mind my parents words when I was studying. Schoolwork should be my number one priority and should always go before anything and other essential duties. Students like myself coming to the United States should understand that it is not prudent or possible or even right to live our lives the way most American kids our age do. We come from a totally different culture and our lives styles are quite different from theirs. Is it justifiable for us to copy foreign cultures and forget about our very roots? We have to weigh the consequences of our actions. It surely is tempting to go out on a Saturday night and drink into a stupor like the lot of them instead of sitting at home. But how does partying and drinking help us as foreigners? What do we gain from such activities? Would my parents like or even appreciate such activities and behavior? I know for a fact that I can get away with most things for I can hide the truth from them for the first few months but when it comes to my education, if I am not doing what I have been sent to do surely the only one person losing out is no one but myself. If I don't take my education seriously then I will not do well enough to even secure employment. We are foreigners and the chance of us getting jobs are already quite slim, so having that in mind I would prefer to sacrifice the so called "fun" instead of paying dearly later in life. What ever it is I plan to remember that there is no use in crying over spilt milk. One of the last things my dad told me as I was leaving my family was to think of girls later. Well I kind of looked at him in an odd manner and said to myself "did not have to tell me that". The real significance of those words strikes my mind right now. It's actually very simple, if I become overtly concerned in getting members of the opposite sex I will definitely be creating problems for myself. But I am after all human and like everyone else have desires but keeping focused for a while and narrowing down my thoughts to what is important has helped a lot so far. I was surprised to hear Bangladeshi students in the US living together as couples without getting married. I can't even imagine such a thing happening back home in Bangladesh? This is something common amongst the community in the US and it has only become common over the past few years. What is the solution to such social ills among the Bangladeshi youth here in the US? The solution is to just narrow down our actions based on what our parents have taught us and follow what our faith tells. We cannot say that the rulings of our parents are too old for modern times. That's the way of thinking that has lead to the social ills among youth in many countries. Do we want to join the bandwagon of an already declining society or should we preserve certain aspects of our culture so that the generation to come will learn something about their roots? |
Home | Make Us Your Homepage | Add to favorites | Publish An Article | Add URL | Link to Us | Feedback | Tell A Friend | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy Copyright © 1996-2005 bangladesh2000.com Site is Designed and Hosted by bdcom.ca® |
| dsfdsfdsfsd |